HOW TO CHANGE PAINFUL MEMORIES WITH LOVE

The following coping skill is a way to positively transform memories. I found the use of this skill to be quite beneficial in my personal experience which I will share below. But first a brief synopsis of the skill.

When you notice or become aware of any painful feelings and thoughts arising from the depths of your soul, investigate the origins. Ensure you are in a place where you feel safe and have minimal to no distractions as you explore your internal state. It is recommended that you already practice some type of mindfulness, meditation, and/or diaphragmatic breathing prior to applying this skill in order to ground yourself, so you can tolerate painful feelings and/or any physiological reactions associated with memories.

If you find the feelings and thoughts are associated with a painful memory, enter the memory, but rather than pushing it back into the darkness; flood the memory with love and light both with imagery and with all your senses. If the memory involves violence or abuse, I suggest take cleansing breaths, ground yourself utilizing your own unique practice, and encase yourself with love, light, and protection.

The resolution of your memory may have different thoughts and feelings than the example provided below. Even if the memory has a little less pain associated with it, I believe it is a success. You can continue to work on it in order to completely re-file it with love and light.

Note this skill requires your readiness to heal and to release attachment to pain (guilt, shame, unworthiness, anger, etc.). If you aren’t quite ready, be gentle and patient with yourself and try it another time.

MY EXPERIENCE USING THE COPING SKILL

My teen daughter left for a school event to be away for two nights. I was feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about her leaving on this trip as if something “bad” would happen. As I stood in my kitchen, I decided to explore these feelings. I asked myself, “are these feelings and thoughts surfacing solely for this event?” I answered “No” and went deeper. “Ah yes, I remember this”. I felt this when I dropped my late husband off to his military unit in the early morning of March 2004 for his deployment to Iraq.

This original memory was filed with painful feelings and fear-based thoughts because my husband did not return home the way we wanted him to return. He was killed in action. At this point, I had a choice to either push the memory back down into the darkness or to flood it with love. So I entered the memory with some resistance, but decided to stay with it.

I saw him standing there in his Desert uniform smiling at me. And rather than approaching him with extreme sadness and fear, I embraced him filled with deep love. Holding him tightly with joy as if our embrace was radiating beams of golden and white light. I repeated “I love you” over and over again. And said goodbye bursting with love rather than sadness and fear.

The memory naturally faded and was re-filed with love and NOT pain. I realized my daughter’s trip was a trigger for this memory to be healed. And even now when I recall this memory it comes forward with love and actual joy rather than pain and loss.

Thank you Spirit for providing an opportunity for healing.

If so inclined, please support my work through Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/divinehealingmastery

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of coping skills. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your energy! Please visit my Facebook page: Divine Healing: Poetry and Coping Skills (https://www.facebook.com/DivineHealing.Poetry.Coping) or my website: http://divinehealingmastery.com to learn more about me and to read my poetry.

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The coping skills provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

These skills work best when you are ready to heal. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Kindly,

Stacy

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

7 thoughts on “HOW TO CHANGE PAINFUL MEMORIES WITH LOVE”

  1. What a kind and loving way to treat yourself…and those memories that are a part of us. To Refile the memory is an incredible direction.
    Thank you.
    Excited to see more in the future.

    Like

  2. This was very helpful to me. I have anxiety over things I can’t control (like D and my father passing suddenly). I am going to try this practice and hopefully bring some light to some darker memories. Thank you for your love and light!

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  3. Hi Stacy! I’m a friend of Sara’s and saw that she posted this link so I checked it out… Beautiful and simply described process. There are so few people I can share my experience with so if you don’t mind I’ll do it here….
    Just over 2 years ago, right before Christmas, younger brother (40 yeas old) was hospitalized and in the ICU for 10 days. He had pneumonia and advanced cirrhosis so he didn’t have a very good prognosis but everyone kept trying to be positive. He was in Texas, I was in New York and Canada visiting family. My stepdad (his Dad) FaceTimed me during the 2 hours of lucidity my brother had in his 10 stay at the hospital. I saw his eyes and all the muscles working in his face like he was trying to communicate something with me. I felt this desperate need to let him know I loved him and I was pulling for him. The call ended and I was left with that being the last time I saw my brother alive. It has been a painful but cherished last memory of him.

    I don’t have anything currently tying me to that memory, but am haunted by it often. I cling to it… I stepped back in to that memory based on what you wrote and chose to say to him that I love him and release him with all the love and light… what a difference! It’s not an intense memory filled with desperation, it’s beautiful and full of love…

    You are an inspiring woman to your family, friends, and those you haven’t met… Thank you…

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  4. Thank you very much for sharing and for coming up with Divine Healing and Coping Skills. You will never imagine how many of us are in the same situation where hope and healing seem to be nowhere. With your Facebook page, help for the depressed, sick and anxious is just a page a way. Bless your good heart!

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