All posts by soul healing practices

A leveling life event catapulted me onto a journey of self-realization and spiritual awakening, growth, and expansion to include numerous career changes from a military officer, civil/environmental engineer, and a licensed clinical social worker to a poet, writer, and healer. The soul healing practices were developed from both my personal and professional mental health experience. As a former licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, my experience included mental health assessment and diagnosis, individual psychotherapy, intensive skills group for active duty service members, hospital social work, and hospice care. Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry cards and poetry book. https://www.baresoulworks.com Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

REGRET, GUILT, SHAME: THE MOTLEY CREW

Regret, guilt, and shame are difficult feelings to contend with and at times completely debilitating. All three rooted in the past tense and can grow into the present like invasive weeds in a garden. These weeds typically emerge with distorted memories tainting our current perception. The memories commonly contain themes of being victimized, abuse of power, making mistakes, doing something wrong, hurting someone’s feelings, causing someone pain, not doing enough, not being enough, and more. The vines of these themes, often grow distorted, self-limiting, and self-defeating thoughts/beliefs creating the feelings of regret, guilt, and shame. These feelings in themselves are not harmful or debilitating. In fact, they are quite useful as they function as a signal of a possible imbalance with one’s internal and external worlds needing to be addressed, acknowledged, healed, and released. They are signaling an opportunity for change. They only become the invasive weeds in the soul’s garden when they are continually being watered and fertilized from a self-sabotaging, self-punishing source.

The past serves a powerful purpose (if used with compassion). The past contains pathways to  help us learn vital lessons so we may grow and expand. The past offers opportunities to reduce the frequency of distorted thoughts/beliefs and maladaptive behaviors, thus suffering in the present and opportunities to transmute and transcend them. Obviously there is truth to the memories we hold. We may have indeed caused harm to ourselves and others or someone has caused harm to us; taking responsibility for such pain is critical for overall healing and growth. It is also important to bring awareness of a tendency to over-exaggerate past mistakes, weaknesses, and failures. It’s helpful to remember, most likely at the time of the memory we behaved from a space of limited awareness or a clouded, confused perspective. We participated or reacted from what we knew at the time.

We also tend to discount positive aspects of our memories and mainly focus on the negative. Even in the most traumatic events there is some positive such as the lessons learned from the event. Although these positive aspects are not as apparent at first, they do become more visible through healing. Traumatic events can offer opportunities to grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, to learn responsibility for our energetic presence, to learn appropriate and healthy boundaries, to learn what we don’t deserve hence to learn our worth, and/or to learn how to unconditionally love ourselves.

When we have a laser focus on the negative aspects of the memory, the past becomes binding like dragging our own personal shackle and chains. The burden becomes so great we disregard or bypass the lesson and punish ourselves endlessly with the motley crew: regret, guilt, and shame. This excessive self-deprecating reaction to our memories keeps us bound to the past and distorts the present. We tend to operate from this distorted space of pain and suffering, even when we aren’t conscious of it, until something in the present triggers the memory.

How do we liberate ourselves from this bondage?

When you feel the harsh jerk of the shackles and chains from the past pulling you backwards, holding you back from any happiness,  just know it is an opportunity for healing, growth, and expansion.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

The soul healing practice is a way to free yourself from this oppression and involves transmuting and transcending the memory. You energetically change the memory to how you would want it to unfold with the wisdom you have in the present, which includes the knowledge gained from the lesson you learned from the past event.

If the idea of changing a memory brings resistance, then in my opinion it is even more of a reason to try this intervention. The resistance is just the shackles and chains wanting to keep you captive in a cycle of suffering.

The resistance may also be due to the memory involving someone or a situation that caused you significant harm and pain. It may feel as though changing, transmuting, and transcending the memory takes away any justice for the other’s wrong doing, especially if amends haven’t been made or consequences haven’t been received. On the flip side, it is much greater injustice in my opinion for you to be carrying the burden of these restricting and oppressive feelings causing you to be punished endlessly, every day of your present life. Why are you being punished for another’s wrong doing? Their wrong doing certainly may have caused you to feel unsafe and disempowered, but you still have the ability to regain your empowerment. The soul healing practice is not denying that a wrong doing was done, it’s about releasing you from it. By transmuting and transcending the memory, you are dissolving their energetic power over you, the memory’s power over you, and releasing the negative energetic cord/attachment you have with the person or situation who harmed you. This frees you from being held captive to the memory allowing you to implement healthy boundaries and/or pursue appropriate consequences for the injustice from a space of clarity rather than confusion. This is forgiveness and empowerment.

If changing, transmuting, and transcending the memory releases your captivity to the past, then why not be free so you can be the person you desire in the present moment? By releasing and transforming these chains you can offer an authentic amends for any harm you may have caused or be released from the disempowering energetic trap of being a victim. Memories are meant to teach us, not to imprison us. Let the memory do its job of teaching so it may be transmuted, transcended into light, and so you can get back to the present without the burden of the past.

The soul healing practice involves visualization and meditation. The practice will be most effective after you reduce any anxiety or distress that may have emerged from a memory being recalled or triggered in the present. Effective means to reducing distress may include: grounding/mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing, objective/rational thinking, empowered self-talk, meditation, or whatever is your personal practice or technique that resonates with you most to help you feel centered and calm. Practicing from a space of feeling calm, centered, and clear will help to increase openness and to decrease any resistance to healing and expanding. Also, take the liberty to experiment with this soul healing practice, change it, refine it in order to make this practice YOUR practice and for the practice to truly resonate with your soul.

Begin the meditation by imagining yourself encased in a white column of light extending from above you (connecting to source energy, the divine, God, or whatever resonates with you) and down into the earth. This column of light that is surrounding you, offers protection and support during your healing. Recall the memory as if you are seeing it on a movie screen. Flood the memory with white and golden light so the light fills the entire space of your observation. Imagine the light to be a bright light turned on in a very dark room. The light has extreme purifying power and can soften, transmute, and even transcend any darkness.

Imagine rays of white and golden light extending from your heart to the memory scene. The light and heart connection to the memory helps to transmute and transcend any heavy, restricting energies attached to the original memory such as guilt, shame, regret, anger, resentment, sadness, fear, etc. If just flooding the memory with this purifying light brings some relief, less pain, or a sense of empowerment, then you can close the memory as described below or you can replay the memory in this space of healing light. Replay the memory as the elevated person you are now or desire to be, who learned the lessons from the past, the wiser person, the more empowered person, and the person who desires to respond to the memory’s events from an elevated, compassionate, and loving perspective. Continually flood the memory with the healing, purifying white and golden light while you replay it. The memory scenes may change or the continual projection of light may soften its sharp edges. Hopefully, the pain lessens and a sense of empowerment is restored.

Once the memory is complete, offer gratitude for the opportunity to heal the memory, which subsequently heals the present moment because energy doesn’t know the concept of time or space. Close the memory with another burst of white light and see the memory dissipate into the expansive space around you, and eventually disappear. Imagine the column of light from the beginning of the meditation seals off to form a white, golden sphere of light surrounding you. This sphere of light is a shield protecting and repelling any negative, denser energies desiring to shackle you and to hold you back from your highest potential. The shield compassionately reflects back any denser energies back to its source for them to heal. The shield is fluid and allows you to receive and to give unconditional love.

The soul healing practice may need to be implemented several times if the memory continues to have its clutches in your soul and you find you are still carrying the burden. Its grip should lessen with each use of the practice. You may also utilize this practice in written form. You may literally rewrite the memory using similar aspects of the meditation/visualization. It will be more effective to handwrite than to type.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

My beloved dog of 13.5 years passed in February. Guinness was a chocolate labrador full of anxiety, but a most beautiful soul that was completely devoted to us and yearned to always take care of us. Initially, when we first adopted her which was a few years after the death of my husband, I disliked her, in fact I thought I hated her. She was needy and constantly intruding into my space. It took me a bit of time and patience to begin to like her and eventually to love her, before I could understand her purpose in our lives. She taught me so many valuable lessons, mainly unconditional love even for the anger and rage I suppressed following the death of my husband.

Five months after Guinness’s passing, we were ready to bring a new dog into our home. We adopted a handsome, young golden mix male from the shelter. My daughter named him, Apollo, because he’s a golden color and has the energy of the sun, as well as, a healer. The picture included in this blog is Apollo.

As I began to care for him, such as buying his food and accessories, feelings of regret and guilt were seeping from my subconscious into my conscious awareness. My mind was being plagued with negative thoughts such as: I didn’t buy Guinness the top brand dog food at a specialty pet store like I’m doing for Apollo; I didn’t give Guinness filtered tap water; and I definitely wasn’t as tolerate with Guinness’ puppyish behaviors, her shedding, and her misbehavior, like I am with Apollo.

I could feel the pull of regret and guilt wanting to anchor me into a cycle of suffering and self-punishing thoughts, but I resisted. I was certainly being tempted to only focus on the negative times, but I persisted with an objective and more compassionate recalling of the past. I began reminding myself, I did my best caring for Guinness at the time. I was in a dark time in my grief when we first brought Guinness into our home and I was tired, angry, devastated. I reminded myself I loved her deeply through the years and became a better pet owner over time. I recalled how she helped me heal my anger, helped to make the house feel safe, and with this realization I offered her so much gratitude and unconditional love.

After I felt more elevated by recalling the memories with compassion and objectivity, it opened a space for me to accept and to not resist this opportunity for healing and expansion. I settled into the healing meditation and imagined a column of white light surrounding me. I flooded ALL memories of Guinness (good and bad) with purifying white and golden light. I opened my heart, extending rays of light and unconditional love to her spirit and to the memories. Any feelings of irritation, anger, or annoyance were dissolved, transmuted, and transcended into light. I replayed all the memories of caring for Guinness with my current knowledge and wisdom, as well as, my desire to be a better pet owner, and noticed the memories began to change: I saw myself providing her with the best food, filtered water, and tolerating her jumpiness in her youth, her shedding, and all the other irritations/annoyances while continuously flooding the memories with light. I was consumed with extreme happiness, peace, and love with a deep inner knowing I healed and resolved the past. I can now bring this elevated energy into the present for myself and Apollo.

I closed the memory, released it with a burst of white light and unconditional love, and saw it dissipate and then disappear. I sealed myself in a sphere of white, golden light. I felt it was complete. I also had a solid confirmation that Guinness’s spirit always knew and loved the true essence of my spirit and paid no mind to my human mistakes and blunders. With this new knowledge, I was filled with absolute gratitude once again for my beautiful earth angel.

In addition to the example above, this soul healing practice has also been quite effective in resolving, transmuting, and transcending memories of childhood trauma. I used the practice several times as these memories tended to surface from time to time, especially as I focused on my internal work. Primarily, I used the practice of flooding the memory with the purifying light to help soften the pain, confusion, and disgust of the memories. I replayed it only to provide my child self an abundance of love, reassuring her that none of what was occurring was her fault, and she is now safe. Each time I used the practice the pain from the memory lessened, self-punishment lessened, guilt and shame lessened, and I began to feel more empowered in the present, worthy of happiness and abundance.

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry.

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2017. All Rights Reserved.

Updated in 2022 by Stacy L. Pintor

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

3 EFFECTIVE STEPS TO TRANSCEND ANGER

Although anger generally has a bad reputation, it is an effective and vital signal of an imbalance in our soul’s wellbeing or environment. When anger is balanced it can be transcended into empowerment, clear action, or even no action. It can motivate us to set appropriate soul boundaries or to get out of a threatening situation. From this vantage point, anger has a clear purpose, to help us maintain balance in both our internal and external worlds.

Anger’s bad reputation typically comes from our tendency to get consumed by its untamed energy often leading to a desire to hastily rid of it in any way possible or to anchor in the energy in an attempt to achieve a sense of justice that is typically unstable. Both scenarios can negatively impact not only ourselves, but others and our environment in the process. There are several ways we irresponsibly harness anger energy which may include: 1) projecting it outward in the form of verbal and/or physical outbursts, 2) primarily blaming others for our distress, and/or 3) using passive aggressive behaviors such as withdrawing (silent treatment), making underhanded comments (“under your breath” comments), or gossiping. All of which carries an excessively dense energy that travels with you like a thick, smoldering dark fog. The dense fog over time may then create anxiety and depressive symptoms and/or negatively affect relationships, to include the relationship with self.

Anger needs our attention and understanding, but it does not need thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate it as an untamed and even harmful cyclic energy. Anger typically arises from feeling threatened in some way either emotionally, physically, or environmentally. In my opinion, rooted from fear and in fear. For anger to be effectively transcended into empowerment, it first requires compassion and understanding for its presence. A simple, but loving curiosity for the reason it’s alarming us of a potential internal or external imbalance so we may heal and resolve it. I get it. Just hearing the words: compassion, understanding, or loving may provoke some anger, especially when the relationship with yourself is a volatile. But in my opinion, all the more reason to try the soul healing practice, to begin relating to yourself in a different way.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

The following steps are effective ways to transcend anger before it becomes a cyclic harmful energy, that sits heavy in your soul, smoldering, while waiting to be expelled. These steps can be done individually or together and are only a guideline. Experiment with the soul healing practice, change it, refine it so it truly resonates with you and it becomes YOUR personal practice. When you listen to your inner guidance, you are connecting with your sacred self, to your unique wisdom and vibration.

STEP 1: Gently ask yourself: why am I feeling so angry? The more compassion and understanding you offer yourself, the clearer your mind. This gentle curiosity can be obtained by detaching from the feeling of anger as if you are an observer of your experience, you are merely curious about the presence of anger, and you are perceiving it from an unbiased, nonjudgmental view.

If you begin to harshly judge yourself or begin to justify your anger while asking this question, then it will fuel the anger cycle granting it extra power over you and overriding any clarity. If you find the anger is a bit too consuming to fairly ask yourself this question, then it would be beneficial to further ground the energy by implementing your preferred grounding practice such as, but not limited to: physical activity or exercise, deep or diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness, grounding using your senses, or meditation (transcendental, loving-kindness, intention, visualization/imagery, prayer). If the energy is still having a difficult time grounding, then try the “primal scream” practice as described in Step 3, below.

As you practice a genuine interest in your interior world, you may observe the unfolding of a trail of thoughts prior to discovering the central thought igniting the raging volcano within. The central thought may surprise you because you may find the thought is actually a core belief rooted from the past, possibly from childhood or adolescence.

As an example, imagine driving a vehicle, the thought process may unfold as follows:

  • “I can’t believe they just cut me off!” (notice personalizing the situation as if they intentionally cut you off to specifically upset you).
  • Ground your energy and gently ask yourself: why am I feeling so angry?
  • The answer may include: “they’re so disrespectful”; “they could of caused an accident”.
  • Further explore the thought, “they’re so disrespectful”, be curious if there is an “I” statement attached to the thought. An example of an “I” statement corresponding to this thought may include: “I feel disrespected”.
  • Compassionately ask yourself: what does it mean to be disrespected or what does it say about me when I’m disrespected?
  • The answer may include: “I’m not worthy”; “I’m hidden”; “I’m invisible”; or “I don’t matter”. These types of thoughts are deeper, core beliefs.

Notice in the above example, the trail of thoughts can quickly identify a deeper, core issue. As the above example demonstrated, it is helpful in order to identify these type of core beliefs to ask questions such as: what does it say about me when… or what does it mean to be…, so you begin to identify “I” statements rather than projection statements (“he”, “she”, “they” statements). The “I” statements are driving your reaction or response to the situation. “I” statements are a powerful way of regaining ownership and responsibility, thus regaining your power of a situation or circumstance that feels out of your control.

Once these thoughts are identified, ask yourself with compassion: where in my life have I felt this before? You may find a core area of your life in need of attention and healing. The current event may have only been a trigger for you to explore and heal an unresolved past wound.

Often the mere act of being compassionate and understanding of yourself and identifying or illuminating self-defeating core beliefs offers enough light and higher vibrational energy to transmute and resolve the denser energy. However, if you still feel attached to the anger energy or the self-defeating thought/belief, then you may need to further explore it for deeper processing. Please read my previous blog, The Art of Disentangling Your Mind, for an effective tool to challenge the validity of limiting core thoughts/beliefs and to identify more empowering thoughts/beliefs.

STEP 2: After offering yourself compassion and understanding for the reason of anger, then replay the events from a different perspective. This perspective is grounded in peace, love, and clarity. This step requires you to first imagine yourself flooded with love, golden/white light, peace, and clarity. You may need to incorporate a form of meditation, visualization, diaphragmatic breathing, grounding, and/or prayer to elevate your energy to this level. It is most effective when using this soul healing practice to really FEEL the new energy vibrating within you, while imagining the re-experiencing of all events from a space of peace and clarity as if it is occurring in real time.

You may notice several changes to the original anger event when using this practice that will be unique to you. From this elevated energy and as you are reimagining the scenario, you may find the following: still setting appropriate boundaries without projecting harsh, harmful energy; offering the other person/people or circumstance compassion and an intention or prayer for their safety and peace; or just letting go of the situation with an intention of clarity and peace. Energy doesn’t know time or space so you can replay an event with the new energy and have a profound impact on your state of well-being and possibly the other person/people or circumstances involved in the event.

STEP 3: If the anger energy is still quite persistent and you are having difficulty with the first two steps, then another effective way to move the energy is what I refer to as the “primal scream”. Of course, I am not the first to speak on this practice, but through my own experience I have found it to be incredibly helpful in moving out heavy, dense energy such as untamed anger. The practice is simple. Find a safe space where you won’t alarm others of mistakenly assuming you are in distress. I like to do this practice while driving, but would recommend trying it in a stationary space first so you are familiar how you respond to it. In a stationary space, I’ve used a pillow or blanket to muffle the sound, especially if others are in another room. From the depths of your core, summon a scream. The key is to release the scream without any filter from your mind telling you how silly this is, but allowing a pure raw emotional purge. You may need to summon the scream a couple of times. You should experience an emotional, mental, and physical feeling of relief and cleansing. I suggest sitting in this new energetic feeling, breathing deeply, to calm your nervous system back to balance. Once feeling centered and balanced, try the first two steps again.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE 

The morning began with a little irritation because my daughter was running late for school after requesting the night before, she wanted to get to school early to finish homework. We left the house in a haste, knowing we would arrive to her school only 10 minutes early as opposed to 25 minutes.

As we were driving to school, still in our neighborhood, a car was tailgating me. I remained persistent in maintaining the neighborhood speed limit. The tailgating car turned on a parallel alley driving at a high speed in close proximity to homes in order pass me, but failed because they had to stop for me at a stop sign. I asked my daughter to get their license plate number so I could report them for reckless driving. I proceeded to give the driver a foul, angry look and I noticed they were teenagers. I thought “figures…teenagers…”.

As we entered the school drop-off carline, a security person directing traffic was trying to keep the carline moving and motioned me to continue driving towards the main entrance even though I was approaching a side door that was closer to my daughter’s classroom. I decided to disobey his direction and pulled over so she may enter the nearest door. The security person was clearly frustrated with me and we exchanged mutually irritated looks.

After those three events which began to derail my day, I immediately felt terrible and heavy as I was flooded with pulsating dense anger energy. I noticed I wanted to harshly judge myself for being angry and for my reactions following the anger. However, I interrupted the judgment with compassion and reminded myself the presence of anger was only a signal of an imbalance.

During my morning run, I processed the previous events. For me one of the best times to “get out of my head” and for processing spiraling thoughts and emotions is while I run, specifically running outdoors. It is instantly grounding and helps to clear my mind enough to where I can view my experience with objectivity and altitude. I asked myself: why did those events make me so angry? I explored the question with gentle curiosity and not with harsh interrogation.

I realized in all instances, I felt “pushed around”. I further explored and asked myself: where else in my life do I feel pushed around? Upon this question, I identified a core self-defeating belief (“I don’t matter”) and felt immediate relief for illuminating this shadow aspect within me which elevated my state of being. I decided to replay all the events from this elevated perspective, while still running (moving meditation for me), I imagined how I would respond to each event from a space of peace and clarity.

I imagined, while truly feeling this new perspective, that I let go of control of my daughter running late knowing she was already feeling the consequences and hoped with a silent intention that she would have enough time to complete her work. I imagined, I still maintained my speed while obeying the neighborhood speed limit and possibly would still want to report the reckless driving, but without exchanging a foul, angry look. I also set an intention the drivers would learn a lesson of reckless driving in the future, but without harm to anyone. I imagined, I still “disobeyed” the security person during the carline because I wanted to get my daughter to the nearest door, but rather than becoming defensive for my actions, I committed to my actions with this new perspective. I knew I was disobeying his direction (without harm to another), but respected his efforts for keeping the carline moving efficiently. Rather than exchanging an irritated look, I offered a smile and a genuine “thank you” and “apology” wave.

Upon completion of this imagery and meditation, I felt the anger energy dissipate and lift from my energetic body. I trusted this new vibrational frequency traveled to all who were affected by my previous harsh, dense energy and were lifted in some way as well.

The practice of the primal scream is poetically described below in my poem.

PRIMAL SCREAM

You make your presence known,
once again.
A heavy mass of dense, churning fiery energy,
slowly, methodically rising ablaze
from the internal depths.

Why? Why again!

The initial impulse is to push down
with locked arms, full force,
brute strength.

Your entry brings fear.
The fear of confusion and distraction,
searching, scavenging, ravishing
through the thick brush of the mind.

An impulse to hastily clear the thicket
with a machete composed of razor-sharp words,
swinging wildly, blindly, intensely.

Clear it!

The frenzy blocked, skillfully
by a pervasive energetic shield, a pause in the fight,
so clarity can beam through the chaos of the mind,
through the turbulent emotional waters
like a teleportation from another dimension.
It finds a way, with bold determination
through the mental and emotional black hole.

The clarity comes in peace,
brings suspension of time, of space,
and within the depths of the soul
a soft, faint whisper of mystic knowing
flutters forward,
landing softly upon the petals of the heart.

It is heard.

It knowingly suggests to allow the fireball
of fury, of rage to elevate.
See it for what it is —
underneath the burning, fierce flame
glows a timidness full of fear.
This flame of anger cries for help, to be seen,
the only way it knows how,
with a raging tantrum.

The whisper nudges to greet the blaze
with more than reluctance, synthetic hospitality,
but with curiosity, openness, compassion,
understanding.

It says to resist the urge to succumb
to the raw, untamed anger
with grinding teeth, clenched fists
or to be paralyzed
by the electric charge of terror,
pulsing through the highway of nerves.

Release the building tension, explosive emotion,
with a primal scream tucked deep in the soul’s core,
containing ancient wisdom, transcendental power.
Expanding the soul’s tectonic plates,
triggering an earthquake of release
rumbling through the physical body,
collapsing old limiting cognitive structures,
built in fear.

Allow the grains of release
to fall effortlessly through the sieve of perception.
Hold it steady,
with tenderness, with unconditional love.

No shame,
summon the primal scream,
release, rest, and be.

— Stacy L. Pintor

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2017. All Rights Reserved.

Updated in 2022 by Stacy L. Pintor

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

THE POWER OF POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

Positive affirmations are a way to raise your energetic vibration and to declare to your sacred self, to the infinite potential and power within, that you are ready for abundance, peace and harmony, and all you deserve. Typically, positive affirmations are statements to restore an internal balance, a way to recalibrate your mind, especially if your internal state lingered a bit too long in a lower state of being such as entanglement with self-defeating, self-limiting, and distorted thoughts and beliefs. These lower vibrational thought patterns can cause havoc within you, with suffering not far behind.  Although, in my opinion, all experiences  are valid, the dark, the light, for soul growth and expansion, especially when these dualistic energies reintegrate into the whole, into oneness within you. Sometimes these lower energies naturally take their course and eventually return to the whole or soul’s harmony, like falling leaves from a tree, but sometimes we get attached to the suffering, leaving little to no room for its opposite to be present, not allowing our leaves to fall. Affirmations whether general or specific are a way to restore the soul’s harmony, to tip the internal scales back to balance, and return to the flow of the  soul’s cycle.

If you need additional assistance in identifying lower vibrational thoughts/beliefs, as well as, higher vibrational affirmations, visit my previous blog post, The Art of Disentangling Your Mind. 

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

It is important for the affirmation to be in the present tense as if it is already happening.  It is also important to choose affirmations that resonate with your soul, so you feel the energetic shift. Again, affirmations can be specific, but broad enough so you don’t unintentionally attach too tightly to the specifics which can easily tip the internal scales to a lower vibrational state of being. Examples of affirmations may include: it is safe to love and to be loved, I am free to love, it is safe to create, I am free to create, I create my best life ever, I am confident, strong, empowered, it is safe to speak my truth, I am free to speak my truth, I am the voice of sacred divine truth. Again, you can add specifics to these affirmations such as: it is safe to create, I am free to create, I create: anything specific you are creating such as a business, book, art, music, a baby, etc.

Repeating the affirmations without actually opening your heart has little to no effect. Opening your heart means truly feeling the loving energy vibrate through your entire being in the form of body sensations, visual imagery, empowerment, and/or unconditional love.

The idea is to genuinely feel the affirmation cascading down from your mind to your heart, as you feel your heart and chest expand, leading the energy all the way down to your feet and beyond. A helpful imagery to generate this feeling is to imagine a bright golden, white light shining above your head and down through the crown of your head to your feet carrying the affirmation through your mind, heart, body, and soul. Other ways to open your heart may include techniques such as deep/diaphragmatic breathing into your heart center, other types of positive imagery, gratitude, prayer, meditation, or memories when you felt alive, empowered, or full of joy. Again, the idea is not only to think the affirmation, but to authentically feel the affirmation in your entire being by opening your heart. It is important to experiment with the soul healing practice so it truly resonates with your soul. Don’t hesitate to change or refine it, sometimes numerous times, until it feels right for you.

It is also effective to add a statement to the end of the affirmation such as: “so may it be done” or “so it is” and then release it to your higher source. The end statement can be anything of your choosing just as long as it provides a sense of empowerment and self-love. The statement provides an extra exclamation point at the end of the affirmation. I found it also reminds my mind to stand down so my heart may fully expand declaring unconditional love for self. If you ruminate or worry about the outcome of the affirmation, then you may hinder the manifestation of the affirmation, by slowing or detouring its progress.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

I’ve been working on the following affirmations: “I am worthy of abundance in every form because I am love” and “My dreams and desires will come true with balance, harmony, ease, and protection”. I noticed as I repeated these affirmations there was a part of me blocking the energy from expanding. Most likely as you may have learned through my previous blog posts, the block is due to a core belief of unworthiness. I decided to add the statement “so may it be done”.

With the aid of the golden, white light imagery, I felt the affirmation cascading through my entire being. By adding the end statement, I immediately felt a sense of empowerment and self-respect dispelling the victim role.

By restoring my power, I provided myself unconditional love and demonstrated to my source energy, to my sacred self, that I’m truly ready for all I deserve and more. These affirmations will in turn provide unconditional love not only for me, but for others as well. Remembering as done to me, to include what I do to myself, is done to others. Choosing to spread love and abundance rather than suffering and lack.

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2017. All Rights Reserved.

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

THE ENERGY OF THE THOUGHT LOOP – YOU ARE THE CREATOR

Our state of mind determines are well-being. Our thoughts, health of our brain, and our connection to our sacred heart, to the divine within, determines our state of mind. The state of our mind emits energy (brainwaves) when neurons in the brain fire they release electrochemical waves or electrical impulses (Hanson & Mendius, 2009, p. 30). Our heart, minds, and spirit collectively radiate a unique energetic field. This field influences our external worlds and cycles back to us. All organisms exchange energy and matter with their environment in order to live; therefore, “the apparent wall between your body and the world is more like a picket fence” (Hanson & Mendius, 2009, p.27).

We are often unaware of our energetic influence upon external outcomes and how our energy affects other people, situations, or circumstances. We have exceptionally more power than we are willing to give ourselves credit or take responsibility. We have the ability to create suffering or peace by the type of thoughts and the amount of focus we lend to the thoughts. If we focus long enough we create thought loops with its own energetic power. The thought loops consist of patterns of thought, feelings, and behaviors associated with the thoughts, and energy that influences both the internal and the external. Basically our external worlds are a reflection of our internal well-being. “In fact, much of what you see ‘out there’ is actually manufactured ‘in here’ by your brain…” (Hanson & Mendius, 2009, p.43).

It is important to first understand the vehicle at which the mind is driving, the brain. Although the brain is a highly evolved tool, it is still imprinted with our early ancestral primitive markers. The brain is hard wired “more for avoiding than for approaching. That’s because it’s the negative experiences, not the positive ones, that have generally had the most impact on survival.” (Hanson & Mendius, 2009, p.40). Our ancestors were constantly in the practice of seeking safety. They focused significantly on negative experiences out of necessity, which strengthened these neural pathways over time.

In current times, if we experience any negative experience or a traumatic event, then it is likely these dormant primitive imprints become activated. Of course, if a real threat to our life or physical well-being exists, then our brain does its brilliant work of seeking safety by activating our sympathetic nervous system of fight, flight, or freeze. It is then up to us, to help the body recover and heal by redirecting our focus once the threat has passed.

If we haven’t learned to discipline or tame our minds we may get stuck in the perpetual cycle of feeling threatened creating negative thought loops which may lead to suffering. Although, pain, negative emotions and thinking, and unpleasant body sensations do offer a strong signal that your whole being (mind, body, heart, and spirit) is out of balance, it is problematic when these become chronic.

If this imbalance occurs, then the state of well-being may be too inhibited (numb) or overly aroused (overwhelmed) (Hanson & Mendius, 2009, p.32). Even in the absence of a real threat to life or physical well-being, this cycle can be triggered and manifested in numerous forms when we feel rejected, disrespected, and/or abandoned generating self-limiting, pessimistic, and distorted thoughts with associated feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, irritability, sorrow, depression, guilt, and/or shame. The nature of the brain and mind when undisciplined or untamed “highlights past losses and failures, it downplays present abilities, and it exaggerates future obstacles” (Hanson & Mendius, 2009, p.42) rooted in primitive imprints and human conditioning. All in the name of survival and protection based upon memories rather than real threats.

It all sifts down to what we focus on which strengthens certain neural pathways and networks creating patterns and habits while weakening others. The untamed mind tends to hold on to suffering longer than it’s needed. For example, in relationships it can take five positive events to overcome the effects of a single negative event (Hanson & Mendius, 2009, p.41). It certainly takes practice and patience to refocus and retrain our brain in order to strengthen more positive neural networks. The condition of our mind and heart helps the brain maintain balance amongst all systems.

Our focus attracts and resonates at similar levels of our external environment. Various thoughts with associated feelings such as joy, love, peace, frustration, anger, or sadness resonate or vibrate on different energetic frequencies. If the thought loop becomes a pattern due to our consistent focus, then we resonate with other people and circumstances that have similar thought loops and energy. The issue lies then the quality of the thought loop. Keeping in mind negative thought loops are generated from fear and a sense of lack rather than from love and abundance.

At our state of evolution, it is time to heal our minds even from residual ancestral trauma. It is a matter of taking our power back by mastering negative experiences with objective discernment and prohibiting our brain from defaulting to a negative thought loop. We have the power and the ability to interrupt negative patterns and strengthen more benevolent neural pathways and networks. We have the power to retrain our brain thus transforming and liberating our mind. This will clear the way to reconnect with our heart, inner knowing, the Divine within.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE 

It can be as simple as bringing the light of awareness to our thinking which lessens the negative thought loop’s intensity and will possibly be enough to resolve the loop. This awareness gives us a choice to continue OR to interrupt and stop the loop with Truth. It takes gentle curiosity and investigating into our thinking to uncover the thoughts and feelings fueling the negative thought loop.

If the light of awareness does not fully resolve the negative thought loop, then incorporating a variety of healing modalities may be beneficial to regain balance. Healing modalities may include: repeating positive intentions and affirmations and/or self-empowering thoughts; surrendering burdens to a higher source, God, or whatever resonates with your spiritual beliefs; loving behaviors such as smiling, laughing, embracing; deep diaphragmatic breathing; meditation to include violet flame mediation, energetic cord cutting, or inner child healing meditations; forgiveness; and/or prayer. All of which activates the parasympathetic nervous system signaling our body it’s safe to rest, reconnect with our heart and our inner knowing, and for the mind to be clear of that which does not serve our highest potential. Please see my previous blog posts for more information regarding the majority of these healing modalities or you may consult the internet for any of the specific meditations mentioned.

These energetic concepts may be further clarified through example. If you are feeling jealous or envious of someone or circumstance, then become aware of the type of thoughts swirling in your mind. The nature of the thoughts may include, but not limited to: “I don’t want her to succeed”; “I’m not as lucky as her”; “I always have to work hard and she doesn’t”; or “I never get what I want”, etc. You may not realize the actual power of your thoughts and their energetic influence upon the other person’s and your own outcome. Your influence may place self-doubt and fear in the other person’s mind and emotional body causing delays or even negative outcomes. This will affect you because you just indebted yourself to heal a negative situation you contributed in causing. You will most likely encounter a similar situation with an opportunity for healing, but roles may be reversed where someone is emitting their envious and jealous energy onto to you.

In this example, it is crucial to become aware of your thoughts with compassion. Challenge the truth of the thoughts and identify a more benevolent, realistic thought. Please see my previous blog post, “The Art of Disentangling Your Mind”, for a more detailed explanation of this healing tool. Utilize energetic cord cutting, inner child meditation (if thoughts are rooted from upbringing or ancestral heritage), and/or violet flame mediation to further clear your energy.

Likewise, if you know someone who is envious or jealous of you, then it is helpful to utilize energetic cord cutting and to forgive yourself for past times you’ve been envious or jealous. Finally, cleansing with a violet flame meditation and imaging a field of golden, white light protecting you should dissipate and resolve the negative energy from your energetic field.

It’s about coming to peace within ourselves so that we do not unconsciously or subconsciously create negative thought loops that affect and influence others, thus ourselves. Learning to take responsibility for our creation, but most importantly realizing our power as co-creators.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

EXAMPLE 1

I am releasing an old paradigm that I have to work for an employer, work long hours, and have a substantial income to be considered successful. Ever since I resigned from my previous job to pursue creative endeavors, I’ve been struggling with this old belief. It’s been a constant buzz in my energetic field that I should be “working” rather than being home compiling my collection of poems, publishing my poems, writing these blogs, and developing a workshop. All of which is being accomplished on MY time rather than an employer’s time.

I thought I had released this judgment of myself, but realized I’m still carrying that my current creative endeavors are not an acceptable form of “success” because I’m not earning a substantial income as of yet. It showed up with a recent conversation with someone.

This person made a comment towards another person who he felt didn’t work often and said, “well I go to work all day”. As if the person he was referring to did not work enough. After our conversation, his comments stayed with me into the next day. I began to feel anger towards him for judging someone so harshly who in his perspective is not “working all day”. So I thought, why is this bothering me when it seemed it wasn’t about me?

After compassionate investigation into my thinking, I realized I was still carrying the belief I should be “working all day” to be considered successful or productive. The conversation and my limiting belief triggered my primitive imprints and human conditioning of the possibility of not being accepted by this person or society at large. The energy of this thought loop and judgment of myself actually manifested someone with the same belief who was judging someone else harshly. I CREATED that loop, and pulled someone into my energetic field who reflected it back to me.

It was so liberating once I brought the light of awareness to the negative thought loop. This awareness provided a choice to either keep it OR to go within to heal and to change the thought loop to a more benevolent energy supporting myself and my environment. The negative thought loop was actually hindering my success by anchoring my energy in a sense of lack rather than love and abundance.

Upon clearing the negative energy with awareness, I remembered the reason I stepped away from my last job. It is to pursue my life purpose of serving others by expressing my authentic and creative self, sharing my life experience, and helping others awaken to their own Truth, all the while trusting my own needs will be taken care of with abundance in every form.

EXAMPLE 2

I belong to a neighborhood notification website and there was a message stating someone had seen a black cat and suggested the owner should come to get the cat. After viewing several of the replies, someone suggested if the cat is friendly to pick it up. Well, I have a black cat who I adore and he is an indoor/outdoor cat, so I decided to reply for fear someone would take my cat if the cat they saw was indeed him.

After I replied stating the cat could possibly be mine with other details, I began to worry. I started to worry they would judge me for allowing my cat to go outside. In response to the worry, I began to rehearse in my mind what my reply would be to a potential conflict of others opposing my decision for allowing my cat to go outside with all the risks.

I thought, “Wow!”, I’m generating all of these thoughts assuming conflict would be coming my way. But why? This simple exchange of words was triggering my primitive mind and human conditioning of potential conflict and a possibility of not being accepted by my neighbors. Furthermore, I pondered why I am trying to create something I don’t desire? I knew if I continued to focus on these thoughts, then I may create the very situation I was worrying about due to the focused energy I was releasing.

So I paused and thought. This is actually a healing and growth opportunity. I was trying to create something in the external to heal something in the internal. I was worrying of a stranger’s judgement and perception of me, but obviously there is a part of me that I judged harshly and perceive myself as possibly not a good cat owner for allowing him to go outside. I needed to come to terms and accept my decision for letting him be an indoor/outdoor cat.

After contemplation why it is the best decision for my cat to continue to go outside, I surrendered the decision to Spirit and expected the best outcome to be of peace and ease. My mind did try to pull me back into the previous negative thought loop. With compassion for the workings of my mind, I knew my ego was only trying to protect me with a desire to be accepted and to be prepared for a potential conflict, but it didn’t realize the situation didn’t need to be created in the first place.

I gently redirected my mind along with several deep breaths to my Truth and to the peace within. It is about fully accepting myself rather than seeking it from the external. I affirmed I do not wish to create what I’m worrying about. The negative thought loop was interrupted in time to cause no further derailment of my day or to create an unwanted external response. I did receive replies back simply thanking me for my response and other neighbors saying they enjoy his visits.

As in the previous example, bringing the light of awareness was enough to lessen the power of the thought loop and resolve it. I healed my own internal judgment and false perception within myself. From this place of peace and ease, even if I did receive an opposing reply, then I would be able to respond gracefully rather than react with defensiveness and anger.

However, if the energy of the negative thought loop persisted, then it would be my cue to go deeper and to further heal and clear the energy. My next healing modality would have been an inner child meditation. Most likely my residual concern of other’s perception of me and a desire to be accepted was rooted during childhood/upbringing and even during my ancestral heritage.

As silly as this example may sound, it is these small instances that have the potential to create havoc in our worlds.

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

Reference:

Hanson, R., & Mendius, R. (2009). Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, & Wisdom. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

WHAT IS CODEPENDENCY? – SIGNS OF CODEPENDENT BEHAVIORS

What is codependency? In simple terms, it is a dishonest relationship. Dishonesty in honoring your truth or needs within yourself and with another person, situation, or circumstance. Although other psychosocial factors and addictions can contribute to complicating the relationship, it ultimately sifts to dishonesty.

The dishonesty may lead to behaviors such as feeling an obligation to take care of other’s needs and feelings above your own or expecting the other to take care of your needs and feelings above all else. Simply an imbalance of giving and taking derived from a sense of lack, expecting external elements to fill the lack. Typically, as an ‘over-giver’ you abandon yourself in the relationship and as an ‘over-taker’ you dominate and may even manipulate to get what you want. Codependency is not just associated with interpersonal relationships, but can include your relationship with illicit substances, money, your job, your environment, etc.

What spectrum of codependency resonates with you? Possibly both, but one tends to over shadow the other. I will discuss the difference.

THE ‘OVER-GIVER’

If the ‘over-giver’ sounds familiar, then you are over dependent on others to feel needed, worthy, or loved. You become dependent on other people, situations, or circumstances to supply you with a sense of worth without learning to strengthen your worth from within. You tend to compromise your wellbeing for others. Eventually it catches up to you and you may begin to harbor feelings of anger and resentment, experience energetic depletion, or even become physically ill. These are cues you are out of balance. In pleasing and taking care of others it becomes more difficult for you to truly receive or may become confusing on identifying your actual needs.

The use of the term ‘over-giver’ is intentional because giving and caring is a form of love and does provide a sense of purpose and worth, but it depends on the energy fueling it. The question then becomes is the energy from a place of unconditional love and joy or from a place of lack, guilt (obligation), fear of abandonment, or unworthiness? Fear or lack energy will actually attract others or circumstances that manifest more fear and lack. Basically stating to the Universe that your needs and feelings don’t matter. Hence, you may attract dishonest, manipulative people or situations who expect you to take care of them or misuse your giving heart for their personal gain. A fear of abandonment tends to lead to these types of relationships and as a result you may abandon yourself during the process.

Signs you meet this type of codependency may include: feeling guilty for saying ‘no’ or ‘yes’ or feeling guilty for expressing your truth, feeling angry and resentment towards someone or a circumstance, or feeling depleted after interacting with another person or situation. It is quite beneficial to check in with your body and emotions. Your body is a superb alert system when there is an imbalance.

It is helpful to ask yourself a few of the following questions to strengthen your awareness. Is your body tense or relaxed when around certain people, situations, or environments? Do you have a heavy sinking feeling or dread when someone wants to spend time with you or a light, joyful feeling? Do you notice pains in your body such as in your shoulders, neck, or back, headaches, or even nausea when in the presence of someone? Do you feel depleted or at peace after spending time with someone or in a situation? Does something feel “off” and you can’t quite put your finger on it? Listen to this, it is a cue that dishonesty is present. Be honest with yourself, are you over-giving?

THE ‘OVER-TAKER’

If the ‘over-taker’ sounds familiar, then you are over dependent on other people or circumstances for your feelings and needs without much concern for their feelings or needs. Again, you haven’t learned how to be with your feelings, take care of your own needs, or you are avoiding shadow aspects within yourself. As a result, you expect other people/situations to be your supplier of happiness, security, or even distractions. You tend to dominate or manipulate in order to keep the supply. Often getting stuck in a place of lack and negativity so others will come to your rescue and continue to give. It is manipulation because you either use guilt or self-pity or minimally meet the other’s needs to get what you want. The manipulation is most likely an attempt to gain control due to an aspect of yourself that doesn’t feel powerful.

Once again, the term ‘over-taker’ is intentional because taking or receiving is also a form of love and absolutely a vital component in an healthy, balanced relationship based in unconditional love. However, when this energy is imbalanced it may lead to recklessly projecting needy, lower energy onto to others like a heavy burden expecting them to carry it and resolve it for you. Again the behavior of an ‘over-taker’ is based in a sense of lack rather than love and abundance. You are stating, “I don’t trust my self to give myself what I need”, so you seek it from external elements.

Ask yourself the following questions for these are signs you may meet this type of codependency. Do you dominate conversations and complain the majority of the time or is the conversation mostly about you? Do you actively listen to the other person or are you waiting for them to pause so you can speak again? Do you always want to be around someone because they make you feel happy, at ease, or at peace? On the flip side, do you feel addicted to them in a way because they make you feel angry, justifying a need to control and feel powerful? Do you give gifts in order to get your needs met or to keep the person around? These gifts can be any form from material, verbal, to emotional.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

On either side of the codependency spectrum you are giving your power away and falling into a victim mentality due to not fully loving and accepting yourself. Breaking the cycle or pattern requires deep honesty and unconditional love of self. Be curious about your behaviors and the motives behind them. It is not helpful to crucify yourself if you do find you have codependent behaviors. It’s actually a door to freedom providing awareness and the opportunity to liberate yourself from a mindset that has kept you bound and dishonest. By learning to deeply love all aspects of yourself (both light and shadow), you completely stop the codependency cycle because you no longer need or expect others to fill the gaps you perceive are present. Loving your shadow aspects doesn’t mean to act upon them, it is a just way to reduce its power over you.

When someone wants to spend time with you or asks something of you, simply pause, and ask yourself: “does this bring me joy?”. If not, be honest and say ‘no’ or ‘yes’, setting firm boundaries. When you spend time with someone or in certain situations, ask yourself: “are my behaviors rooted in honesty and love?” or “am I seeking the ‘other’ to take care of me or avoiding a shadow aspect within myself?”.

Lovingly be honest with yourself and take measures to do the internal work in order to bring the fears and shadows to the light in need of healing. If you are stuck in negativity, then it may be helpful to ask yourself: “what have I learned from this situation or relationship?”. You can also ask yourself: “what can I do to bring me joy?”. In addition to these questions, often when we are attached to negativity there is likely an aspect of ourselves we need to forgive. For example, if you tend to chronically complain about how you were treated in a situation, then perhaps you need to forgive yourself for not standing up for yourself. Use the past as a teaching tool NOT a tool for regret. Regret keeps you stuck in a cycle of suffering which hinders your ability to move forward.

In both situations, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from trusting and honest friends or from a professional to help you become aware and heal the codependency behavior, but remain vigilant to not become over dependent upon them. If you are seeking validation, love, security, acceptance, respect, or support, then learn how to illuminate and to strengthen these aspects within yourself. Others can be an example, but ultimately they can’t provide it for you. It is all within you, it is a matter of remembering it is already there.

A spiritually mature soul learns to unconditionally love and take care of self so they may offer honesty and love to others. Remembering if you desire honest relationships or circumstances, then the honesty absolutely must begin with you. This self-empowerment sends the Universe a clear message of what you desire to attract. With unconditional love of self, you will energetically invite other people and circumstances that emulate the same deep love and honesty.

Note if you are currently in a codependent relationship or situation, the “other” may not be ready or even understand your boundary or your honesty. Codependent relationships can be healed, but it takes two partners who are actively willing to heal their own codependent behaviors. If the relationship is not quite ready to be healed, then it may require you to let go certain aspects of the relationship or completely let go of the relationship all the while honoring your integrity and authenticity. The key is to let go with unconditional love. In doing so, you are offering compassion which mirrors the compassion you have for the shadow aspect within yourself. Then have gratitude for the relationship for giving you an opportunity to affirm your empowerment and self-love.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

I have definitely attracted numerous relationships and situations in my life where my role was the ‘over-giver’ birthed from a low sense of worth. I’ve come to know the difference in the feeling when I give from unconditional love or from guilt. From guilt, it shows up as either a heavy sinking feeling in my abdomen, a feeling of dread or resentment, feeling depleted, or sharp pains in my left shoulder.

I’ve affirmed to completely resolve giving from guilt by being fully honest in all of my relationships. I have taken my power back. If it doesn’t feel right in my heart and body, then I say an honest ‘no’ and drop the guilt.

An honest ‘no’ or ‘yes’ for me is to not make up excuses in attempt to protect or take care of the other’s feelings. Examples of setting boundaries and standing in my power may include: “no thank you, I plan to take care of myself in another way”; “thank you for the offer, but I don’t need your healing session”; “I’ll listen to you vent for half of our lunch, then let’s talk about something else”; “that sounds frustrating, what did you learn from it or what’s your plan to find your joy again?”; “I’m wondering if you heard me”; or “I feel like you are not actively listening to me so it makes me feel like I’m unimportant to you”. However, sometimes a simple “no thank you” or allowing yourself space in between interactions (being less available) may be enough in honoring your truth.

I now say ‘Yes’ to honest and authentic receiving and giving in order to provide balance within myself. Not ‘yes’ because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings, trying to take care of their needs or feelings above my own, or afraid of losing someone in my life even if their presence is not serving my highest good. If I regress into old behaviors, then I lovingly forgive myself and realign with my true, authentic self.

For me the question: “does this bring me joy?”, is quite effective. This one question is an act of validating my worth. Basically declaring my needs and feelings are just as important as everyone else’s. Reminding myself, if they can’t accept my honesty, then perhaps the relationship is not able to resonate on an interdependent frequency. Therefore, a need to let it go or let aspects of it go giving the Universe a clear message I desire honest relationships rooted in unconditional love and mutual reciprocity. As I unconditionally love myself, I invite the same into my life and unconditionally love others with ease.

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

THE WOES OF PERFECTION

“I want everything to be perfect!” you’ve probably heard that before and even by your own lips at one time. But have we ever asked why does it have to be so perfect? What does it mean when things are perfect? Perhaps we think we are more lovable or more worthy of love when things are perfect.

A lot of us have been conditioned by society and/or within our upbringing to believe perfection brings happiness and security. Sure perfection may bring rewards and challenge you to do your best, but when the attachment is unbalanced it can also bring a sense of woe derailing you from the present moment. The world’s idea of perfection is actually unattainable because it comes from a sense of lack rather than unconditional love.

Often times, this attachment to a perfectionist paradigm does originate during upbringing. You may have been rewarded for being “perfect” or doing things right, at which with a young developing mind you may have equated this behavioral exchange as a way to being loved even more. This belief then most likely took root in your mind and manifested in various ways as an adult such as: wanting your environment perfect, your relationships perfect, your performance perfect, and/or your material possessions perfect.

What happens when things aren’t perfect, don’t go your way, or you don’t do something “right”? If there is an imbalance of the perfection attachment, then you may notice you become devastated and not just a little disappointment, but derailed followed by anger, worry, anxiety, and even depression. You may notice a flood of self-defeating thoughts such as: “nothing goes my way”; “why don’t good things happen for me?”; or “I’m no good”.

So what gives? We were taught perfection brings rewards and more love. The more I’ve investigated my own attachment to perfection, I found it gave me a sense of control over my environment and made me feel safe and loved. A way to ease fear of the unknown. However, in reality when it was unbalanced and I forgot I’m innately and Divinely perfect, it caused more anxiety, frustration, worry, and burden all rooted in fear. So my attempts to resolve fear with perfection was actually causing more. I realized with this imbalance I was approaching life from a sense of lack rather than abundance and love.

A balanced perspective of perfection is realizing you may not be perfect in the ways of worldly matters, but are already Divinely perfect. From this realization you may notice your grip to the attachment of perfection may loosen as your perspective shifts. With this perspective you can enjoy nice things and surroundings, continue to work towards your true potential, but not be devastated with setbacks, mistakes, or problems.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

A way to balance this perspective is to heal the inner child from where the imbalance to perfection may have first rooted. An effective tool for healing the inner child is to utilize mental imagery and meditation.

In a quiet space with no distractions, center yourself with several diaphragmatic breaths. Breathing in, say in your mind: “I am” and breathing out, say: “safe”. Breathing into your heart as if you are expanding and massaging it with love. Once you feel you are anchored in calm, even breaths, picture yourself as a child and perhaps the age you first remember being punished for not doing something right or for not being “perfect”. Bring him or her towards you gently and comfort him/her with whatever type of loving gesture resonates most with you. For me, I imagine bringing her into my arms and setting her in my lap.

Speaking from your heart, smile at your inner child and tell him or her: it’s ok he/she made a mistake, didn’t do something right, or isn’t “perfect”. Remind him/her that you love him/her unconditionally no matter what he/she does or doesn’t do and he/she doesn’t need to be “perfect” in order to feel safe or even to be loved. Listen to him or her lovingly if he/she has anything to say and comfort him/her as needed. Imagine warm, golden and white light surrounding and embracing him/her and then release him/her, set him/her free.

Gently bring yourself back to your adult body and your surroundings, again breathing into your heart, and feeling your anchor in the present moment. Once again breathe in: “I am” and breathe out: “safe” and on the last breath, breathe in: “I am” and breathe out: “love”. Gently open your eyes. Please note, you may adjust the mental imagery and meditation to whatever resonates with you most.

Upon healing this imbalance, you may notice you approach life and problems from a space of calm, ease, and clarity rather than from a space of anxiety, rigidity, and confusion. You will be able to respond to setbacks or mistakes rather than react to them with haste and sense of burden. This a practice of compassion for yourself, knowing you are unconditionally loved by the most important person, your Higher Self.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

We recently had a hail storm and I found a dent on the hood of my fairly new car. Immediately, I felt a familiar weight of frustration wanting to sabotage the moment or even the whole day. I began worrying about fixing the dent and feeling angry that another thing has been added to my do list and would cost money. I tried to distract myself from these unsettling feelings, but my eyes kept coming back to the dent.

I thought “what the hell? why is this little dent causing me so much distress?” As usual and with gratitude, these difficult feelings and thoughts were providing an opportunity for healing an imbalance. I took some time to go beyond my disgust over the dent and asked myself “what is this attachment to perfection?” I realized my attachment to perfection was rooted in childhood, where I mistakenly equated being loved more for doing things right and “perfect”.

I meditated as described above to heal my inner child. Upon returning to my adult body and to the present moment, I sensed a sigh of relief. A new profound love elevated for myself based in unconditional love. I liberated the bondage of my attachment to perfection and remembered I am already Divinely perfect. I acknowledged it is ok to enjoy nice things and work towards my true potential, but with the knowing I am unconditionally loved even when my surroundings aren’t “perfect” or I’m not “perfect” (according to worldy standards).

I am always fascinated when doing this shadow work how simple external circumstances have deeper attachments that need to be healed. Again a testimony, to the interconnectedness between external and internal realities.

With a clearer mind and relaxed body, my sense of urgency to fix the car lessened, knowing it will get fixed when the time and funds are right. At this time, I have other priorities to solve before the dent. What a relief to let go of this self-made burden!!

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

CUTTING THE CORDS TO SUFFERING

Suffering is difficult, taxing, painful, and sometimes debilitating. Suffering to me is any energy that makes you feel limited, held back, stuck, confined, a general feeling of misery. Suffering may be the result of a painful external event and often overstays its visit in our hearts and minds. Certain limiting and self-defeating thoughts may be seeded during this painful event and then watered with matching painful feelings, eventually growing into beliefs that distort the current moment with a veil of suffering. Often we feel these painful emotions such as fear, anxiety, deep sadness, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, and other painful emotions before we are aware of the thought or belief the feelings tend to fuel. These feelings can be challenging to experience and to manage. In fact, we often try our best to rid of the feelings by either avoiding, suppressing, or projecting them on to others, behaving in ways we regret. They can feel daunting and relentless especially when we find we are stuck in a lower energetic feedback loop of thought/belief, feeling, and body discomfort which then extends to our external worlds. This energy keeps us cycling in confusion and suffering.

However, with a change of perspective rather than condemning and hating these types of feelings it is possible to respect, even welcome, their presence. They are actually cuing an imbalance of your internal and external states of being. These feelings are providing an opportunity for the healing of unresolved past experiences and memories and are offering a lesson for further growth and expansion towards your highest potential.

How do you release the attachment to suffering? An effective way is to cut the cord or attachment of suffering that’s binding you to another person, place, situation, or even to your own mind. Cutting cords is not an act out of spite or revenge, but rather out of love and compassion. It clears the energy and restores balance to your energetic presence, thus realignment with your sacred self.

If you are cutting a cord between you and an external energy and feel hesitant to do so, it is helpful to remember others’ attachment to suffering are for them to heal and to resolve. If the cord stays attached to you, then you are actually blocking an opportunity for them to do their own healing and expanding. Staying attached may promote codependency of relying on people or situations for feeling “good” and/or blaming people or situations for feeling “bad”. This also holds true for any lower, negative cords you have attached to yourself due to your own distorted, self-defeating thoughts. You can become codependent on your very own way of thinking or feeling.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

The following are three steps to cutting cords of suffering. It is most beneficial and effective to apply this soul healing practice when you have the space, patience, and willingness to explore the experience with curiosity and compassion. I also recommend making this practice your own by experimenting with the soul healing practice, change and refine it as needed so it truly resonates with your soul and soul expansion.

1) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

As previously stated, accept the presence of suffering, of painful feelings, as a cue there is a soul imbalance. This soul imbalance is asking to be acknowledged in order to restore peace and harmony. Suffering involves an energetic exchange of energies from you to another person, place, or circumstance and even an energetic exchange within your mind and heart. Taking responsibility is addressing your part in the exchange. Ask yourself: when have I felt this before? Often, but not always, feelings of suffering can be traced all the way back to childhood when distorted and self-defeating thoughts were seeded and grew into beliefs that may not be readily known, until an external circumstance activates the belief to be seen in the present.  However, this lower vibrational belief was always activated and operated below the radar creating a negative feedback loop, causing suffering. Sometimes these beliefs may not originate during childhood and occur later, but the process is often similar. An external event causes internal distress, a self-defeating or limiting thought is seeded and can grow into a belief that disrupts your present perception like static or interference on a radio signal.

In the case of anger or resentment of another person’s behavior, it may actually be a reflection of a distorted, self-defeating thought or belief you hold of yourself. For example, if you find yourself getting irritated with a “know it all” or someone acting superior, there may be an aspect of yourself you believe is a “know it all” or has the potential to be a “know it all” that you have not fully accepted, but actually rejected. Your rejection of an aspect of yourself creates anger and resentment even guilt and shame towards yourself and others. This rejection cultivates self-defeating thoughts leading to harsh and even punishing self-talk. This cycle can actually manifest adverse external circumstances, creating negative feedback loops, thus suffering. Acceptance is about loving every part of you. It also brings awareness and clarity, which then offers a choice to either act from or to not act from that aspect of yourself. If you choose to act it out, then awareness also offers a choice of how, from a space of love or from a space of lack.

Another element in taking responsibility is to explore the exchange of energy a little deeper, especially if you felt disempowered. The presence of fear, anger, resentment, emotional pain, even guilt may also be the result of not having your needs met and/or feeling disempowered. Consult your mind for any thoughts of disempowerment such as: I feel restricted; I don’t matter; I feel small, so I must be small; or I’m stupid. Also, visit my blog post, “The Art of Disentangling Your Mind” (15 March 2016), for further explanation of exploring your mind for limiting thoughts and beliefs that create a lower vibrational feedback loop. From this space of acknowledgement, the difficult feelings can be transformed into empowerment by setting soul boundaries in your relationships (all relationships, including the relationship you have with your mind and heart), letting go of relationships or aspects that are holding back your highest potential, or voicing your needs which will be explained further below. Use your voice from a space of worthiness and love, including your inner voice. Understand neither of you are higher or lower than the other, but perceiving an experience differently.

Taking responsibility for your part doesn’t excuse another person’s poor behavior, but promotes empowerment and compassion as they are reflecting an aspect of yourself that may need to be healed or strengthened. Rather than feeling victimized, you regain your power. This awareness interrupts a negative, lower vibrational feedback loop due to a change in perspective allowing a positive shift in the energy between you and your external world. Awareness offers an opportunity for forgiveness, especially of yourself and also offers an opportunity for reflecting back clarity and love, thus creating a positive, higher vibrational feedback loop.

2) FORGIVE AND CUT THE CORDS

Prior to forgiving and cutting the cords, it is helpful to have an understanding for the negative, lower frequency behavior. Often, but not always, it was rooted in fear or hurt. The more compassion and empathy you can offer to the suffering, the wider the door to healing and growth is opened for peace and harmony to be restored. For example, you may find thoughts such as: I or they reacted with anger out of fear; I made you feel small because I’m afraid or because I feel small; or I shut you out because I was hurt.

Forgiveness typically starts with you. It involves dissolving the heaviness, the burden that you carry due to suffering or from a negative feedback loop. The more awareness you have of your own self-defeating, limiting thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, the more power you generate. Again, it is at this point you give yourself a choice to act from a space of suffering or disempowerment or from a space of clarity, peace, and empowerment. How you address the suffering matters. Harsh and punishing self talk only perpetuates the cycle of suffering, keeps it fueled for relentless rotations. Try compassion, which may take some practice if you are used to talking to yourself in a certain way. Comfort yourself like comforting a child, loved one, or pet who is scared or hurt. Offer unconditional love in the form of loving feelings, sensations, visual mental imagery, or all of the above. Saying to yourself, “I understand why I or you reacted in that way because I or you were afraid or I understand why or you gave your power away, it’s a pattern from childhood”.

The key to cutting cords of suffering is to do so with unconditional love, higher vibrational energy. You can also cut cords of aspects of a relationship or aspects of yourself that feels stifling, heavy, limiting. It is helpful to utilize visual mental or mind’s eye imagery and symbolism to imagine the cutting of these cords. See yourself holding a sword of absolute purifying light and then see the cord(s) that are attached to a person, situation, or even to your own thoughts that are causing suffering and disempowerment. Imagine yourself as a warrior, full of confidence and empowerment and swing the sword so it cleanly severs the cord(s). If it feels as though numerous cords are attached, you can swing the sword in all directions, cutting the cords cleanly and swiftly.  If you do not resonate with a sword, then use any instrument that has the ability to cut the cord(s). The instrument you use will be unique to you, but imagine it as a powerful tool, that is infused with higher vibrational energy, purifying light. If the instrument still carries anger, resentment, or pain, the cutting of the cord will only fuel more suffering, keep the negative, lower feedback loop rotating.

Once the cords are cut, feel a sensation of relief or lightness, as the tension is released. You can offer an intention of, “I set you free, as I am now free”. Imagine a bright light within your soul’s core expanding rays of purifying, white light as bright and powerful as a star and then see the same for whomever or whatever the cord was attached. The space between is flooded with light and unconditional love, as you see the person, situation, or an aspect of yourself begin to freely dissipate and fade away peacefully, to be transcended into a higher vibrational energy. The imagining of this light helps to release the cord with unconditional love. It also helps to further clear the energy and space around you including within your own mind and heart. I also imagine the cords and its attachment, are not being released below or above me, but on equal level remembering love has no hierarchy. If the cord or its attachment are persistent in its hold on you and doesn’t quite want to be released so easily, you can try offering another burst of purifying light.

This visualization will be even more effective when you make it your own, again it is important for you to experiment with the imagery so it truly resonates with your sacred self. Also, the soul healing practice will not be effective if you try to release the cords with anger, resentment, or guilt.

3) SET BOUNDARIES

Now that you are hopefully in a space of clarity and love, restore your power and set appropriate soul boundaries to protect yourself from potential lower vibrational attachments and cords in the future. This again is an act of love by taking care of yourself which in turn takes care of others. Boundaries can take many forms and will be unique to the circumstance.

Soul boundaries can be internal, energetic boundaries like a shift in perspective to include feelings and/or thoughts of empowerment such as: I don’t like feeling restricted, I am free; I invite those who encourage and support my expansiveness and release those who don’t; or I matter and do not deserve this treatment. Another type of internal, energetic boundary may be a vow that you will replenish and recharge yourself, place your needs and desires before others in order to open yourself to receiving and to restore a reciprocal exchange of energy, especially if you have a tendency to be an over giver. Boundaries can be external such pulling back your energy or focus, not being readily available, or creating space between you and others or situations where you feel trapped, held back, unsupported. Sometimes its necessary to let go of these types of relationships which includes the whole relationship or aspects of the relationship or even how you relate to yourself, knowing the relationship has served its purpose and is not meant to go further if it doesn’t provide mutual growth and expansion. Expressing your needs and desires are also a way to set an external or even internal boundary and may include: I need to speak my truth; I need space or time alone; I need time to focus on my passion; or It is not OK for you to speak to or treat me in that way.

It is natural to feel some discomfort when setting boundaries such as guilt or fear. We all fear rejection, even the rejection from those or things causing suffering. I suggest bringing your attention back to the desire to set boundaries in order to resolve suffering and trust the desire. The desire is your sacred self telling you something has to change. Remind yourself, others can take care of themselves when you say “no” just as you are taking care of yourself. You are actually interfering with their own growth and expansion by not setting soul boundaries. In fact, by not setting boundaries you unintentionally create fertile grounds for codependency which is not serving either of you. Even as a caregiver, it is still vital to set boundaries in support of your wellbeing so that you are able to care for your loved one to the best of your ability (i.e. giving yourself time for respite and rest, hobbies, passions, etc.).

It is essential to set soul boundaries with unconditional love and worthiness and not hate or unworthiness. The energy of the boundary matters. Set with hate or unworthiness you may notice others will continue to cross or even destroy your boundaries. Set with love they will learn to respect and honor your boundaries or just let you go. Please note if you are setting boundaries within a codependent relationship there is a potential the other party may cling tighter or lash out for a period of time, as they are adjusting to the shift in energy. Also, if you are currently in an unsafe environment, your physical and emotional wellbeing are always first before implementing a firm external boundary. It is recommended you take necessary measures to ensure your safety by seeking safety first with people or services you trust.

Cutting cords is also beneficial to use any time you’ve been surrounded by any type of negativity or lower vibrational energy, whether it’s your own or others. This can include envy and jealousy or circumstances or places that carry energy of hate or toxicity. I cut cords when I feel depleted or drained after interacting with people or from a situation or a place. For example, when someone comes to me for guidance, I typically cleanse myself with this soul healing practice after our interaction to release any attachments either one of us has made so we know we are working with our own energy and not confused by the other’s energy.

You may find as you practice, gratitude for the person or circumstance may grow for bringing an opportunity of soul growth and expansion. They have provided you an opportunity to grow deeper in your truth and to align with your sacred self.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

I sought guidance from a spiritual teacher. I immediately was feeling irritated and angry in her presence. I noticed a power struggle forming between us. She was direct and offering teachings that I’ve already learned. I felt she was “condescending” and I felt belittled. I was aware that I wasn’t receiving her teachings because “I already knew it”.

After our session, I explored the feelings deeper. I realized her “condescending” approach is something I often worry about when I offer guidance. I would “hate” to think I was condescending in any way. I worry if others perceive me as a “know it all” or teaching from a superior place. I realized my irritation towards her was a potential aspect of myself I would or do “hate”. Notice the use of the word “hate”, which is an example of harsh, internal self talk.

I found the experience was also a beautiful teaching tool to restore my soul’s power and to set some boundaries. I realized when someone acts superior, sometimes I submit to their dominance by giving my power away so they feel good in the moment. I listened to her with anger and resentment and left feeling empty rather than standing in my worth and using my voice. I could have voiced to her I understand what she was teaching, but I wanted to know more about something else or voiced that her approach felt harsh. I realized in that moment, I am also a spiritual teacher and to stop pretending like I am not and to not be afraid of shining my light. Upon this internal dialogue, I established a boundary of empowerment and a vow to stand in worthiness.

I forgave myself for regressing into an old childhood pattern of letting others dominate me to where I feel like I don’t have a voice. I also forgave myself for “hating” a potential aspect of myself of superiority. I don’t have to act it out, but just love every part of me or I can choose how I act it out from a place of love rather than lack.

I then imagined holding a sword of purifying light to cut any remaining lower vibrational cords between us and within my own mind. I felt a deep sense of relief with each severing motion of the sword as the cords began to fade away. I then offered the intention, “I set you free, as I am free”, and saw a light within me expand rays of pure, white light as bright as a star and saw the same for her as she began to freely and peacefully fade away. The space between was filled with warm, luminous white light. It was done. I knew I had released her from my energy so that she and I both may be free.

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul.

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry.

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Updated in 2022 by Stacy L. Pintor

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

5 WAYS TO INTERRUPT EXCESSIVE WORRY: LEARNING TO MASTER YOUR MIND

The smothering effects of excessive worry can sabotage peace and happiness for hours, days, or even longer. Worry thoughts are typically rooted in the fear of change and/or the unknown, the uncertainty of future events or outcomes. Worrying isn’t bad in itself. It is an effort from the mind to resolve the fear and to aid in future planning.

However, it becomes problematic when the energy is persistent, stuck, and cyclic as you ruminate in the worry thoughts. Excessive worrying is like a freight train running out of control and derailing you from the magic and opportunities of the present moment. The consequence is thinking and behaving from fear and confusion rather than clarity and ease. Like me if you mastered the art of worrying, you most likely formed a habitual neural pathway contributing to the reason worrying shows up frequently and is difficult to interrupt.

Personally, I’ve come to realize when I begin to worry about my safety, my daughter’s safety, or my environment’s safety it is typically a cue I’m in a place of change and transition. The change triggers fear of the unknown and the uncertainty of the outcome which then retreats to a primal space of concern for my basic needs. It is important to explore how and when you excessively worry to gain a better understanding of your internal state. The awareness will encourage a feeling of empowerment in order to regain control and mastery of your mind. Sometimes you may notice physical sensations or pain and/or distressing feelings (such as feeling unsafe) prior to becoming aware of the specific worry thoughts.

Be forewarned, habitual worrying may initiate a fight due to its stable home in your mind, but it just takes matched persistence to evict its power. It is absolutely possible to master this new way of thinking just as you mastered worrying. It is a matter of refocusing your thoughts with determined practice in order to retrain your brain and strengthen a more adaptive neural pathway. I found during my journey of strengthening this new neural pathway (a new way of thinking and perceiving) worry still made itself known when I felt change on the horizon, but its strength lessened, its frequency lessened, and somehow it knew it was not worth the fight anymore. The worry and fear thoughts tend to resolve fairly quickly in the moment when I addressed its presence. Sometimes I had to address its presence several times during the day, again matching its persistence.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

The following are five ways to regain your power and begin having mastery of your mind: 1) acknowledge the fear, 2) neutralize the worry energy, 3) repeat an intention, 4) imagery, and 5) challenge the validity or truth of worry thoughts. The soul healing practices can be used one at a time or together providing a means to redirect your mind back to balance, peace, and clarity. I encourage you to experiment with the practice and adjust, change, refine it as needed so it truly resonates with your soul and your soul expansion.

It is beneficial to incorporate some type of diaphragmatic or deep breathing, grounding, mindfulness, and/or meditation practice when applying the soul healing practices. These calming exercises cue the brain and body to relax so it becomes open to the soul healing practice. I enjoy a grounding technique where I tune in to one or more of my five senses to ground my energy in addition to diaphragmatic breathing. This grounding technique may include tuning into a pleasant background noise, noticing the feeling of the weight of my body while standing or sitting, visually noticing the details of an object or person, or awareness of a taste and/or texture in my mouth. I also enjoy going outside or going for a walk or run to ground my energy.

1) ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEAR

A way to acknowledge the fear is to ask yourself: what am I afraid of? This question may generate one or more fear based thoughts. Acknowledging the thoughts emerging from the dark corners of your mind illuminates the thoughts like switching on a light in a dark room. This illumination provides an opportunity to see the worry or fear thoughts objectively, thus reducing the power of the thoughts. It is even more beneficial to write down the thoughts or to verbalize the thoughts out loud. Once again, it is recommended to utilize diaphragmatic or deep breathing and/or a grounding/mindfulness exercises to tolerate and to reduce any distressing feelings of fear, anger, or guilt and/or physiological reactions associated with the fear thoughts.

2) NEUTRALIZE THE WORRY ENERGY

Neutralizing the worry energy involves integrating two poles of energy, the dark and light, the negative and positive, the denser and higher vibrational energy. Imagine the dark or denser energy coming from below you and imagine pure, white light or higher vibrational energy coming down from above you to where the two energies meet in your mind, or more specifically to the worry or fear thought. Once the two energies collide, they are neutralized at the point of intersection creating an energetic ripple of peace and harmony that extends all around you. Breathe in the neutralized energy, the peace, and harmony and see it extend further and further as you exhale. When the neutralization is felt, you may then offer the intention for optimal vibration, peace and harmony to be restored by simply saying: optimal vibration, peace and harmony, are restored. Feel it, this optimal vibration, as it now fills your mind, your heart, your soul.

I also use a hand motion when doing this practice. My left hand acts as the lower energy (palm up) and my right hand acts as the higher energy (palm down) and when my hands come together to a clap, I then spread my hands apart horizontally signifying the neutralizing energy. This technique can be found in more detail in the book, The Temples of Light: An Initiatory Journey into the Heart Teachings of the Egyptian Mystery Schools, by Danielle Rama Hoffman.

3) REPEAT AN INTENTION

This practice is a way to interrupt the cyclic energy of worrying and redirect your mind. It can be any intention that generates feelings of peace, ease, relief, or harmony. The intention is a way to energetically surrender the worry or fear and to restore peace and harmony. Intentions may include: I release the future, fear, or worry to my sacred self, to source, to God, to spirit, to nature, or whatever resonates with you most and helps you to surrender the energy. As you repeat the intention either from within or out loud, it is helpful to include deep relaxing breaths and/or a grounding or mindfulness practice with the intention. Hopefully, you experience an actual sense of relief from the pressure of worry and fear and a sense of peace from a quieter mind. Another possible intention to practice is: I choose to not manifest or create worry or fear. This intention may promote feelings of empowerment and self-worth.

It is important for you to experiment with the intentions in order to make it your own in order for the intention to truly resonate with you energetically. The goal of the intention is to lessen the tension of anxiety and promote higher vibrational frequencies cultivating fertile grounds for manifesting what you actually desire rather than more fear based outcomes. It is probable you will need to be just as persistent with the intentions as the worry thoughts.

4) IMAGERY

Imagine in this very moment your life is absolutely perfect. This practice requires you to align with your inner child and give yourself permission to pretend and imagine like you did when you were young. With your eyes closed or with a soft gaze in a safe place, truly feel, see, and think how it would be if your life was absolutely perfect in this very moment. Inhaling and exhaling deeply the pleasant and gratifying thoughts and feelings.

The imagining of perfection, of having all your desires met and dreams come to fruition, will vary amongst all of us, but in general it is an activity to encourage feelings of fulfillment and complete satisfaction in the moment. Ensure this image of a life of perfection serves your highest potential. You may call upon this image as often as you need in order to interrupt and dispel any disturbing worry thoughts.

5) CHALLENGE THE VALIDITY OF WORRY THOUGHTS

If the worry energy remains unyielding in its grip in your soul, then you may want to further explore the roots of the thoughts and to challenge the validity. Challenging the validity of the worry thought(s) is a way to gain increased altitude to objectively understand if the thoughts are based in truth and reality. Review the blog post, “THE ART OF DISENTANGLING YOUR MIND” (15 March 2016), for a full explanation of how to apply this soul healing practice.

After conducting the challenge and discovering a more realistic and adaptive thought, you will once again need to be persistent in practicing the new thought. The continual practice will eventually strengthen a more conducive neural pathway to restore peace and harmony to your mind. As repeatedly stated earlier, it is beneficial to include a practice of relaxation or mindfulness to open the door for the new thought to enter.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

There I was tumbling down the familiar rabbit hole of worry…

Excessive worry has plagued my life for as long as I can remember. Showing its sly head in the form of cyclic worry energy about safety, finances, achieving success, and finding divine love, basically rooted in fear. Typically with the worry, beliefs of unworthiness come along for the ride. It can consume me to where I feel wound up with a cluttered mind, emotional angst, and a tense body like I’m dragging a heavy weight impairing me from any sort of peace and harmony.

I will describe how I’ve used a couple of the soul healing practices. All of the soul healing practices continue to help me feel more empowered as I gain more mastery of my mind.

 IMAGERY and INTENTION

On this particular morning the specific worry thoughts were not identified, but I felt an overall feeling of dissatisfaction, irritation, and fear. I went for a run. For me retreating outside and doing something physical helps to ground my energy and clear my mind. Typically after the runs, I stretch, do a few yoga poses, and meditate. I decided to try something different during the routine. I told myself to pretend my life was absolutely perfect in that very moment. I felt the power of the negativity wanting to immediately refute the idea by bringing the thought: but it’s not perfect, how can I even pretend it to be. Persistence was needed and the challenge was on.

I gave myself permission to connect with the innocence of my inner child and to explore deeper. I remembered how magical it felt to pretend and imagine like I used as a kid. With the image of my inner child, I again prompted myself to see, feel, and think what it would be like for my life to be absolutely perfect in this moment. I imagined all my desires were met and all my dreams came to fruition.

The word “free” surfaced in my mind and I saw myself rising and flying with grace. Then the word “organized” came forward of having financial freedom and being cluttered free both internally and externally. I felt an ascension in my heart with an overwhelming abundance of love, warmth, and joy. I saw myself encased in a cloud of completeness and peace. I couldn’t help, but smile. I felt protected and guided, and then the phrase: “don’t be afraid to teach” echoed in my heart. Empowered and vibrating on a higher frequency, I was able to interrupt the worry thoughts several times during the day. I simply recalled the morning meditation resulting in continued resonance of confidence and peace.

 ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEAR

The excessive worrying was quite persistent on this night. I tried the intention, I release the future to God, which resulted in some relief, but I knew I needed to go deeper because my attachment to the worry was a bit tight and unrelenting. I explored the worry thoughts by asking myself: what am I afraid of? Almost immediately several thoughts surfaced: I’m afraid of missing an opportunity; I’m afraid of being alone the rest of my life; I’m afraid to wait; and I’m afraid of being left behind. I knew the origins of all these thoughts. They were imprinted in my memory during the tragic loss of my beloved husband when he was killed in the Iraq war.

By bringing the thoughts and its origins from the shadowy corners of my mind into the light (from my subconscious to conscious), the power of the thoughts dispelled along with the negative and persistent energy associated with them. I felt lighter with a clearer mind and a heart at ease, allowing me to drift into a deep sleep.

If I was still tightly attached to the thoughts and the associated negative feelings/behaviors, I would then try neutralizing the energy as described in second practice and if it still persisted, challenge the validity of the thoughts as described in the fifth practice.

It is my hope these soul healing practices provide you some relief and ease.

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation. 

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Updated in 2022 by Stacy L. Pintor

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

1 WAY TO MANIFEST POSITIVE RATHER THAN NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES

We’ve all done a good job manifesting the negative and the lower energies, darkness that may follow. It’s been in our nature since the beginning of time. Most negativity is rooted in fear. Our primitive brains have been hardwired to a bias of negativity out of survival. However, we for the most part do not have the same dangers in our environment as our earliest ancestors such as avoiding being killed by predators or surviving in austere environments. We still need the function of the primitive brain to keep us safe from real, legitimate threats to our health and well-being. Ideally, when the threat passes our brains return to a balanced mind.

It becomes a problem when our mind habitually defaults to the negative and stays stuck in the experience. The chronic negativity is a way for the ego’s misguided attempt to protect you from future perceived emotional harm or to make you feel significant in some way. Refer to the previous blog, “The Art of Disentangling Your Mind” (15 March 2016), for my explanation of the workings of the mind and ego.

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

For the purpose of this post, I will focus on a practice of flipping negative thoughts to more positive and elevated thoughts. First, it would be helpful to take inventory of the quality of your thoughts per day to determine if this practice will be beneficial. I suggest conducting a little experiment and counting how many positive thoughts you have compared to negative thoughts. If you find the negative thoughts outnumber the positive thoughts, then you most likely mastered manifesting negative and lower energy experiences. The challenge then becomes mastering another way of thinking by redirecting your focus from the negative to a more positive and elevated way of perceiving. It’s like bringing the mind’s pendulum back to a position of balance. There’s nothing to lose besides the cyclic energy of suffering.

The practice itself is fairly simple. When you become aware of a negative thought flip it. For example, a negative thought: “I don’t get what I want” may easily be flipped to: “I get what I want with balance and harmony”. Breathe in the new thought and release it with ease and peace to source energy, the universe, to spirit, to infinite potential and power, to God, OR to who or whatever you resonate as a higher source. The key upon releasing the thought on the exhale is to truly believe the thought, even if it only lasts a second. The more you practice the new thought the more opportunity you give yourself for believing it.

The practice becomes challenging when the old habitual negative thinking wants to keep a stronghold in your mind. The strategy is to loosen its grip by flooding the mind with new, more positive and elevated thought(s). Flooding your mind may include: 1) repetitively repeating the positive thought(s); 2) writing down the new thought(s) and keeping it in a place you see it often ; and/or 3) repeating the thought(s) out loud or even singing it (time in the car offers a good space for this). You may find other ways that resonate best with you as you practice.

As briefly mentioned earlier, there’s an additional step to flooding your mind. The door needs to be opened for the new thought(s) to enter. An effective way to open the door is to include deep healing, gentle breaths as you repeat, see, speak, or sing the new positive thought(s). The calm breathing cues your mind and body the new thought is from love and not from fear. It is counterproductive, to practice with a sense of anxiety, anger, or force because it gives the negativity more power. On the exhale, release the new elevated thought by expecting the best without attachment to how the outcome will look, feel, or unfold.

Often, we want to control the outcome rather than allowing it to unfold naturally and with ease. Especially, if we feel vulnerable or feel lost in uncertainty. Our ego says we don’t want to be made the fool so we anxiously try to control the situation and force the outcome, at which often times, we become the fool we fear. Not realizing by expecting the worst we energetically manifest the worst. This practice isn’t a passive approach to life and doesn’t advocate for no action. Instead, it offers taking action from a space of peace, clarity, hope, and empowerment rather than from a space of worry, fear, doubt, anxiety, or anger.

Repeat the practice until you notice the disbelief of the new thought begins to loosen and eventually falls away. Notice how your day changes due to the change in your perspective. You may find you respond to your environment with ease rather than react with dis-ease. You may experience a change in feelings from the usual mundane irritation, anger, and/or sadness. The change may actually be feeling happy, content, and at peace or the change may just be less of the negative feelings. With all these experiences, you are already manifesting more positive and elevated responses to life rather than more negative, lower reactions to life. Upon more practice, you will retrain your brain to this new way of functioning.

Watch the magic that enters your life because you’ve elevated yourself and raised your vibrational frequency. It’s time to realign with your power by realizing just how powerful you are. Take some responsibility of the negativity in your external world because it may have been created from the negativity in your internal world. We are energetic beings influencing an energetic world. When you elevate yourself and raise your vibration, positive blessings of every kind can actually come forward on the same frequency. It will not be blocked by negative, lower vibrational frequencies. Negativity will not be able to sustain for long on your higher vibration.

If you experience a lot of difficulty with the practice and/or notice no change, then it may mean your attachment to negativity is a little too tight. Keep trying with breath or just try it another day. Manifesting more balance and peace is also taking care of yourself by being patient and gentle with your healing process. If you throw up your hands or give up out of frustration and apathy, you’ve placed another barrier in front of your process of healing and expansion. Therefore, it will be another barrier to disarm and remove. Even if you notice less negativity throughout the day, you are manifesting more positive in your life, thus bringing the pendulum back to center.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

I woke feeling unrested and tired. The negativity quickly settled in like a dense fog as I maneuvered through my morning routine. I noticed thoughts like: “When will things go my way?”. I felt angry during my run and gave dirty looks to drivers passing me above the speed limit. Knowing my current state of mind was not helpful to either myself or others, I listened to a meditation on manifestation after my run. At first I listened to the guidance with some resistance, like what’s the point? I thought “screw it”, might as well try something different. I decided to conduct an experiment for the day by flipping negative thoughts to positive thoughts.

The first thoughts that came forward were: “I was vulnerable and reached out for love to have no response once again”, which led to a familiar negative belief: “I’m unworthy of love”. I noticed the effects of these thoughts on my body such as a heavy pressure near my heart, sinking feeling in my gut, shoulders rounded forward, and head down. I flipped the negative thought to: “I took a risk and shared love”, breathing it in and out with ease and calm. I then noticed my head literally lifted and shoulders moved back causing my heart space to open and widen my sacral area. I felt aligned, lighter, and complete. As if Spirit in that moment offered me the love I perceived was missing in my life. I felt a temptation to worry about or doubt the outcome of the new positive thought rather than expecting the best. I vowed to trust the process so the positivity may cultivate without hindrance from invasive negative thoughts.

I took the practice one step further by flipping the other negative belief: “I’m unworthy of love”. Immediately, I felt excitement and joy, but with a tinge of heaviness and disbelief. This would be the thought I needed to practice throughout the day. I flooded my mind with the thought: “I am worthy of love”. I repetitively repeated the thought, keeping vigilant of how my mind and body responded to the practice, especially when I was aware of a familiar sinking feeling (negativity) poking its sly head.

The results of the experiment were as follows: 1) felt expansive in my chest with each breath massaging and caressing my heart and lungs; 2) improved posture aligned with Spirit prompting increased confidence; 3) felt strong and supported with peaks of joy; 4) wrote this blog with a sense of purpose from a space of joy, service, and love; 5) felt armed with a mind shield against habitual negative thoughts; 6) kept me in the present moment with a clear mind and heart, rather than being lost in worry or doubt (fertile grounds for more negative thoughts); and 7) noticed strangers were authentically kinder to me and I genuinely offered the same in return.

My day unfolded with more ease, clarity, and purpose. I responded from a space of peace and felt liberated from the cyclic energy of suffering. It is not just a one-day experiment and will need to be implemented often in order to interrupt and overcome the pattern of habitual negative thinking. However, I feel empowered to take back control of my mind and manifest more balance!

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)

THE ART OF DISENTANGLING YOUR MIND

From an early age, I tended to be a “thinker” and “in my head a lot”. My mind, like most, can be quite busy with many thoughts like the status of my wellbeing, interpersonal relationship standing, interpretations of external stimuli and distractions, daydreams, and conditioned beliefs. I’m fascinated by the power of the mind and the many facets it holds. For example, how a single thought or belief can create your internal reality thus manifesting your external reality. The mind is the filter you perceive the world both internally and externally, so it is crucial to become aware of the type of filter you are using.

First understanding this filter is necessary in disentangling the mind. I will offer my understanding of the workings of the mind to provide a platform for breaking any cyclic energy of suffering. Feel free to develop your own understanding with the intention of gaining compassion and discipline for the mind’s brilliance.

Based on my own investigation of the mind and spiritual growth, I believe it is actually a neutral mechanism to aid in creation of our experience. The mind is directed by your soul experience in creating either ease or suffering pending the types of thoughts present. It utilizes three states for its creation: a neutral state, higher (Divine) state, and ego state. A balanced, disciplined mind harmonizes the three states of mind.

The neutral state is the void of thoughts or detachment of thoughts lasting seconds, minutes, or longer. Ultimately as an observer of your thoughts, you can completely detach yourself from them realizing in that void of neutrality your thoughts are NOT you.  A sense of peace and quiet may be experienced during these neutral voids. It is helpful to be familiar with a practice of mindfulness, meditation, or contemplation to further gain understanding of this detachment.

The mind in its higher state is aligned with divine source and your sacred heart. It generates positive and flexible thoughts creating experiences of bliss, joy, and ease. You expect the best and are able to gracefully maneuver through any set-backs; knowing each set-back is an opportunity for growth and expansion.

The ego state has roots in the primitive mind of wanting to be the “protector” and the need to feel “special”, hence trying to make you feel safe and accepted. When the ego is functioning from clarity, it serves an important role of helping you make appropriate judgments and decisions to avoid danger; find safety from actual detrimental threats; and setting appropriate boundaries. It activates the nervous system to execute the fight, flight, or freeze response. Ideally, once the threat passes the mind returns to a balanced state.

The ego state becomes problematic; however, when the mind becomes chronically displaced from the balance state and stuck in a perceived threat; clinging to its role as “protector” and carrying the heavy attachment of negative storylines. Your nervous system may be chronically activated as if the original threat is happening in real time, even though the “threat” was triggered from internal or external circumstances (i.e. memories, similar interpersonal relations, or similar environmental situation [sites, sounds, smells, etc.]). Examples of internal emotional threats potentially keeping you stuck may include: feeling victimized, desperately wanting acceptance and/or approval from others, feeling abandoned, fear of rejection, feeling unworthy, and so on.

Unfortunately, we may have trouble reminding the ego, due to the attachment of preconditioned or conditioned negative storylines, the threat already passed. These negative storylines cling to painful emotions like heavy concrete blocks pulling you further into the spiral of suffering. The spiral may cause reactions/behaviors with anguish and not allow the emotion to naturally flow and dissipate. Common consequences of the spiral may include experiences of dis-ease; feeling spun out of control; feeling run by worry or doubt; and/or feeling consumed by intense emotions of fear, anger, sadness, or guilt; basically an entangled mess of thoughts, feelings, and body discomfort.

The use of the term preconditioned is referring to thoughts/belief developed and learned from an early age during upbringing, potentially forming self-defeating core beliefs. The term conditioned is referring to thoughts/beliefs learned due to existing life circumstances such as traumatic events. It can be easy to “hate” the ego for creating such an experience of hell, but this reaction only perpetuates the cyclic energy of suffering. With deep healing and love of self, it is possible to develop compassion for the ego’s existence because of its desire to “protect” even when it spins out of control from time to time, like an adolescent needing direction.

The primary reason some storylines are considered negative or self-defeating is they are distorted (not 100% true) and maladaptive. Maladaptive meaning, as these thoughts are cycling in your mind, you typically react to your environment with negative emotions and behaviors rather than respond with grace and ease. Examples of distorted thinking may include using extreme words (always, never, etc.), catastrophizing outcomes, expecting the worst, and/or feeling a certain way so it must be true (i.e. I feel obligated to help others before my own needs so that must mean I am obligated). There are other types of distorted thoughts so I recommend researching distorted thinking under the intervention, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

In order to interrupt this cyclic energy, you need to first become aware of your thoughts/beliefs and the associated feelings, body sensations, and behaviors. It is helpful to take an unbiased, curious approach to your mind and internal state as if you are a neutral observer conducting an investigation without attachment to outcome. Awareness of feelings, body sensations, and behaviors associated with distorted thoughts/beliefs offers a signal or cue your mind is displaced from its balanced state (like the “check engine” light in your car). When you identify a thought you may want to explore it deeper to see if it has any roots in a core belief (i.e. I’m unworthy, I’m not good enough, I’m a monster, I don’t deserve love, etc.).

Once you feel comfortable with this practice, then the disentangling and disciplining of your mind may begin. An effective way is to challenge the thought/belief. Challenging distorted thoughts/beliefs has origins in CBT and more extensively in Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT). Also, spiritual teachers such as Byron Katie in her book, I Need Your Love— Is That True?have also demonstrated the power of challenging self-defeating thoughts.

The soul healing practice is quite simple. I recommend practicing in a written format until you gain a level of mastery. Create a worksheet including the following: 1) Identify the distorted thought or core belief; 2) Identify feelings, body sensations, and behaviors associated with the thought/belief; 3) List what makes the distorted thought/belief “True” in your mind; 4) List what makes it “Not True”; 5) Identify a more realistic thought/belief based on your analysis; and 6) Identify any change in feelings, body sensations, and potential behavior associated with the new realistic thought. A comprehensive example of how to implement this practice is below.

Most likely you will find the distorted thought/belief is not 100% true due to the “not true” statements; prompting you to develop a more realistic belief. Now imagine how you would behave with this new belief. Hopefully, you imagine responding with ease rather than reacting with dis-ease.

Practice, practice, practice are the key words for this soul healing practice in order to be effective. Also, the ability to regulate intense emotions via some practice of mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing, grounding, or prayer is recommended. Keep in mind, disentangling our minds can take time and practice so be patient with yourself. It also takes persistence practice interrupting prior habitual and conditioned maladaptive thinking with the new realistic thought. The more you remind yourself of the Truth, the more you will believe the Truth; therefore, shifting your experience from suffering to peace.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUL HEALING PRACTICE

 As I engaged in my morning routine, I noticed feelings of anger, low energy, and a cluttered mind spinning with incoherent thoughts and confusion. Hoping during the morning run with my dog, I would ground myself enough to begin disentangling my mind. However, I was becoming increasingly angry with my dog as she made numerous stops during the run. Note: a lab nose is a phenomenon and I’m assuming quite difficult for the dog to ignore the scents along their path.

Never the less even with this insight, my anger was increasing because the stops were not quick. It was as if she picked up the scent, analyzed its origins in her laboratory of a nose, and developed a conclusion by urinating on it. By this time, my heart rate decreased to almost a rest state and I was thinking “I’m not getting my work out”! So I reacted, by pulling on her leash and pushing her behind to get her going. She anxiously looked behind her with fear not realizing it was me who touched her and then sprinted forward. I didn’t like going to that measure to get what I wanted. I realized my feelings, body sensations, and maladaptive behavior were cuing me my mind was displaced from a balanced state. So I investigated my thoughts further during the remainder of the run.

I noticed the thought: “I always have to stop for you” came forward, but it actually went a little broader to: “I always have to stop for others’ needs”. But I knew, based on my own internal work, these thoughts were linked to a familiar core belief: “I’m unworthy” and in this case: “I’m unworthy of getting my needs met or taking care of myself”.

When I arrived home from the run, I challenged the beliefs. For the sake of the post length, I included an example of challenging both beliefs simultaneously. You may want to start challenging one thought/belief at a time as you learn this practice. The process unfolded as follows:

1) Distorted Thought/Belief:

“I always have to stop for others’ needs” and “I’m unworthy of getting my needs met or taking care of myself”. Note the extreme word always.

2) Feelings, Body Sensations, and Behaviors:

  • Feelings: primarily anger with sadness.
  • Body Sensations: clenched jaw, low energy, pain in left shoulder and neck.
  • Maladaptive Reaction: pulling and pushing my dog.

3) True Statements (for the Distorted Thought/Belief):

  • I do stop for my dog at least 3 x during the runs.
  • I always feel obligated to meet other’s needs prior to mine.
  • I’m always the listener.
  • I always have to sacrifice my time and energy for others.

4) Not True Statements (against the Distorted Thought/Belief):

  • Basically all the statements above using always are not 100% true.
  • I’m still getting a work out even if I stop during the runs. I have the option to leave my dog home if I want a more intense work out.
  • My dear daughter, family, and friends would be delighted and happy to listen to me IF I reach out to them.
  • I’m learning to establish boundaries like saying “no” without feeling guilty.
  • I’ve made major life decisions such as moving states two times and my daughter graciously flowed with the change and adapted well to each location. Thank you my Love :).
  • I’ve taken care of myself by slowing down my life; pursuing a creative endeavor that I feel absolutely passionate about; offering myself plenty of time for grounding outdoors; creating a beautiful sanctuary in my home; meditating and praying; receiving massages and energy healing; and going to movies.

5) Realistic Thought/Belief:

“I am worthy of having my needs met and taking care of myself” and “I’m able to meet both my and others’ needs with balance”.

6) Feelings, Body Sensations, and Behaviors:

  • Feelings: excitement and actual joy.
  • Body Sensations: jaw, neck, and shoulders relaxed, felt lighter in my body, and increased energy.
  • Adaptive Response: I was able to develop a plan that equally met my and others’ needs during the day. I asked myself “does this bring me joy?” in developing this plan. Knowing 100% reciprocity may not be the case every time, but just taking care of my needs in some manner during the exchange felt good!

Thank you for another opportunity for healing, expansion, and soul elevation.

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I integrate my professional mental health experience, personal experience, and spiritual awareness in the form of soul healing practices. By sharing my experience, it is my hope it will provide a practical example of how to interrupt and eventually resolve the cyclic energy of suffering and to elevate your soul. 

These practices work best when you are ready to heal and expand. It is OK if you are not quite ready. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You will heal and expand when you are ready. Sending you so much love, warmth, and compassion.

Visit my website if you want to learn more about me and to check out my poetry. 

https://www.baresoulworks.com

Donations are always deeply appreciated 💚: https://paypal.me/baresoulworks

Thanks again for visiting my blog and for your support. Stacy 💚

 PLEASE BE ADVISED

The soul healing practices provided in this blog are meant as a tool to aid in healing and not for psychotherapy or social work practice requiring a contractual, professional relationship. If you need consistent therapeutic care and/or crisis intervention due to being at risk of harming yourself or others, then seek professional and/or emergency services immediately.

© Stacy L. Pintor 2016. All Rights Reserved.

(No part of this blog may be reproduced without written permission from the author.)